Not Like Riding a Bicycle

I used to be a really good painter. Then I kind of laid it down for many years, and have recently tried to revive my interest in it, and I really enjoy it once I get involved, but it is just so much more difficult to even get started anymore, and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because of the increasing tension of the world situation, but I am sure that has something to do with it. Before when I painted I didn't even know what was going on in the world, and I am sure that being bombarded with the news while I'm trying to paint (not to mention the same commercials over and over) probably doesn't help. Also, I never used to have videos to look at to compare myself with or to try to learn how other people do it. I just did it and let the process teach me, or the paint teach me. It was fun. Now, it all seems like a chore. It's messy, for one thing. I get tired of cleaning brushes, and getting paint on things. If I had a proper area to paint in, it would help. But I just paint in my kitchen in my rented apartment. Oh, there I go, complaining again. I really need to keep doing it because I know I will get better if I keep doing it, and it's very rewarding to enjoy the product that results from the process. I always try to remember that the process is more important than the product. You can always start over, especially with oil paint, or you can mostly correct what you did that you didn't like. I know there's a part of me still, deep inside, perhaps, that really loves to paint, and is actually pretty good at it. It's just that so much has happened. Graduate school didn't help, working in academia didn't help, and now I've had ten years of relative freedom to do a little painting and now it has become kind of a struggle. Why am I bringing this up to you? I bet some of you are like me. There is something you used to love to do and you were good at it, and now it has become a challenge, or a struggle, or a pain. I just want to encourage you. I only paint for maybe an hour nowadays and then I have to take a break. I think that's okay. You could probably paint for a shorter amount of time and then take breaks. Take as many breaks as you want. But don't quit. Don't lay it aside for 20 years. It's really hard picking it up again. It wasn't like riding a bicycle to me, not at all. I wish it were. There is discipline that goes along with anything you want to be good at, but you don't have to drive yourself. That's for the younger genertion. No need to drive yourself. Enjoy your life, do your work, enjoy your grandchildren, just don't abandon a gift God gave you because it has become a challenge. Challenges are what life is all about anyway. If there's something you have abandoned, think about picking it back up. It is good for the soul. And, especially, don't abandon yourself. You don't have to do that. Got to go for now. Talk later.