Never Knew Her Till Today

My mother has been gone nearly four years. I never knew her till today. She was beautiful and talented--gifted, as her Auntie Agnes told me. She was an amazing artist; I grew up with her painting all my life. And then today I read her poetry, emptied myself of tears, Wind sucked from my sails. I have been exhausted all day since. I am deflated, useless, empty. I can't even write about it. I can't sit here looking at a computer screen and type What is going on inside me right now. I just want to go into my room, Bury my face in my pillow and stay there until Jesus comes.