Faith the Answer to Anger?

I am so sick of being asked for money all the time. There is only so much to go around, you know. I suppose I should be grateful that they are sending them to me; some of them I might really want to donate to, and thank God I can afford to donate to anybody. There are, obviously, real needs in the world, and if I can help, I want to help, but the volume of this stuff that comes every day is really overwhelming. I have started writing them down in a notebook, as it seems like every time I donate to one of them, another plea comes within a few days. It takes a while to settle down and let all the thoughts of the day slip away, but as soon as I open the Bible, I know God is there and ready to speak to my heart. This I have to look forward to any time I choose. I have a title: Faith is the Answer. There is so much going on in the world to worry about: wars and rumors of wars, famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places? God's word addresses these in Matthew 24. God has already spoken to me in my heart before I even opened the Bible. He speaks to me a lot about this. I need to deal with the anger that sometimes wells up inside. I feel it, I recognize it, I can name it. There it is again. What am I angry about this time? Have I been angry all my life? God's word says that being angry without a cause is the same as murder. In danger of the judgment. Matthew 5: 21-22. "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment. But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore, if you bring your gift to the alter, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:21-24). Of course, who would ever admit they did not have a cause to be angry? And if you do have a cause, the Bible still says you are to go to the person, even if you are not angry at them, but rather, they are angry at you. Nonetheless, that is what God's word says. In the case of a longstanding estrangement and one in which you have tried unsuccessfully to do the right thing with regard to them and the situation, what then? Well, asking the Lord to show you is the only alternative. The only alternative to anything, I think, is repentance to God and asking him to change your heart. I want so much to seek reconciliation in this particular case, I love this person, but I also don't want to be stabbed again in the heart with a figurative dagger that may hurt as much (or seem to) as a literal dagger. So, I ask myself, "Is faith the answer to anger?" Intellectually, I know that I want to be lion-hearted, and unafraid to love without conditions and to approach every broken relationship with the same steadfast courage as Jesus Christ himself. But I know I do not yet possess that. I only have faith to believe that God can help me to achieve that if I will allow him to. So that is what I am going to do. There were so many things for so long, so many unresolved issues over a period of around 11 years, and every time I tried to smooth out a path for communication, I was presented with a roadblock. And then there's the "Lord's Prayer." 9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. 10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen" (Matthew 6:9-13). I always say it, Our Father "WHO art in heaven," “on earth” instead of “in earth,” and at the end, say "forever and ever, Amen," but I think we're all right as long as we're in the right spirit and with the right heart. Why do I think that? Because of faith. And the Bible says we are to "live by faith." We can't do much on our own. Jesus said we could do NOTHING without him. So there you have it. I'm letting the Lord take me on this journey. I am not going to pick up the phone and call only to be crushed by another voicemail message, or an anxiety attack, wondering how to begin if an actual conversation becomes a possibility? I don't know. But God knows. I have brought it before him and I will keep it before him, and trust him with it, because it takes two to reconcile, two to forgive, and I feel like I tried for years with no success, and now I feel like the situation is more difficult to resolve than ever, because it is much more complicated now with all the failed attempts that brought everything to an explosion of conflicts, blowing up in our faces, making resolution more and more remote. So let me just say, I am asking you to pray. If you know me, you know all about this, but perhaps not how much I still wrestle with it almost every day, and if you don't, please do not feel any obligation unless God lays it on your heart. But I hope maybe what I shared may have helped someone. If so, I will be glad to pray for you too. And I apologize if this has been too personal. Thanks, friends.