Through a Glass Darkly

We are all a bundle of feelings, thoughts, ideas, desires, hopes, fears, burdens, worries, doubts, talents, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, tears, laughter, losses, wins, victories, defeats, and based on what does God love us? He loves unconditionally. But on what basis will we be welcomed into eternal life? Only on one thing: repentance from sin and faith in the One who died for our sins and rose again. How is that possible? I can't answer that. I just know that it's true. God is love. But God hates sin. And we are all sinners. So, what is our hope? Our hope is only in the Savior. No matter what we've done or haven't done, sin has been what got in our way. Sin is what shackled us. Sin is what blinded us. Sin is what condemned us. And yet we don't like that. Maybe we think we can compensate for our sin by being accomplished. Maybe we can convince God that we're not so bad because we do so many good things, because we are kind and thoughtful and generous and fun to be with and good at what we do. Wouldn't that be great? But if that were true why would Jesus have had to suffer punishment for our sins? Why would he have had to go to the cross and die a horrible death to atone for our sin? Do I understand that? No, I don't. I have been a Christian for a long time, and I still can't say I "understand" everything about the gospel. I only know that it is the truth, that it has changed my life, that it has set me free, that when I believed, my life began to change in big and small ways every day. I began to be truly alive. I began to experience meaning and if I didn't entirely understand the reason for the cross in a way that I could explain it to anybody, I did understand that God is real and everything else pales in comparison to him. I am not a perfect person now. I feel like I fall short every day. I don't say that I commit gross sin every day, but I never fully accomplish what I set out to accomplish and that makes me feel inadequate sometimes. But God seems not to think about this the same way I do. God sees me. He sees my heart. Sometimes I am so vividly aware of his presence and other times in a less intense manner, but I know that he is pleased with me as long as I am his and walking with him all my days. In the mirror I can look halfway decent but later in the days someone takes a picture of me, I hate it. Kind of like this verse from the Bible: "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known" (1 Corinthians 13:12). I am just glad to be known by the Lord who sees the heart and not the outward appearance.