A Night to Remember

I have a constant reminder now that I have been changed forever. I don't have only one, but this is a physical one which is a constant reminder, because it never goes away, and it won't end until I die. I don't have to be struck by lightning or knocked off a horse to remember that God has changed me forever. I only have to snag the nail on the middle finger of my right hand. You might think this is funny because of the common unfriendly hand signal that is so popular today, and, at the time, it was funny. I remember holding it up in jest for the audience in the place we were playing. The sit-down band in Cheyenne I was playing with had a "road gig" at a club in Reno, Nevada, and we were loading in our equipment at 2:00 A.M. I was never sure why we couldn't have waited on some of it but that's all water under the bridge for sure. It was probably the general opinion that the equipment would be safer inside than outside in the van. So, to make a long story short, as we were lifting a guitar amp up the backstage stairs, someone (probably me) may have slipped or something and the thing landed on that finger as it was positioned on the edge of a stair. Yeah, it hurt. I don't know what hurt more, the amp smashing my finger or enduring the shots they gave my finger before they sewed it up, but that was definitely a night to remember. So, for however long my finger was bandaged and wrapped around a brace to keep it straight, I played without that finger, and it was interesting, and funny when I held it up to show the audience. The finger eventually healed, and actually caused me to believe a little more in the Lord. In fact, I said, "I'm a believer now." I had said "the sinner's prayer," but I wasn't living for the Lord at that time. Music was my God, what I lived for, what I thought meant more to me than anything. Anyway, the finger was smashed like a plum and the scar tissue causes it to this day to hurt like crazy if I accidently knock it on something, and it's on my right hand. Not the handiest thing, since I am righthanded. Eventually, it healed, they took out the stitches and I have survived for many years since that night, but you know how it still reminds me? The fingernail did not grow back completely normally, just enough so that it is constantly snagging. I am still not sure how deep the layering is, but the two sides of the nail come together in such a way that I am not long without a snag right there, and the finger is visibly flatter and broader than it was before the injury. Watching that whole process was humbling, I guess you could say, and I saw something bigger than me taking place, and that's just one reminder to me of the time I saw what I viewed as something both miraculous and personal that gave me an opportunity to be very thankful to God and to see how he has made us in such an amazing fashion, that our bodies can heal the way they do, and, furthermore, I was very thankful to still have that finger after that. You have probably heard of much more amazing physical healings and miraculous events, I was just reminded of that today, as nails continue to grow and snag, and every time it happens, I have occasion to reminisce about that night. Yeah, it was fun playing music all the time, but there are a lot of things I don't miss about it. I don't miss it being all about people getting drunk and the sound of clanking ice cubes and people getting into fights, and things like that. I have discovered a lot of other things to enjoy in life, and music didn't save my soul, it did not love me as much as I loved it, and you know this has been true for a lot of musicians that have gone on to become famous, and have had unfortunate endings. I won't go on about that, I am just glad God was with me during some pretty reckless periods in my life, times I should not have survived, and I had not even really given my life to him yet, but he knows everything about everything and today I am thankful for that stupid snag on the nail of the middle finger of my right hand, because it was just one way that God made a believer out of me, and there is no way I would go back to who I was back then.