Fireplace Fantasies

December 6, 2024: I've got a "cozy fireplace" video on for background noise while I type this. It reminds me that my estranged brother had once said he would come over and help me put the furniture facing the fireplace instead of where everything is now, facing the middle of the living room. I have been in this apartment for 15 years and never used my fireplace. But now that they are installing electric ones in all the new apartments, my old fireplace may not be used, so that is the end of that fireplace fantasy. The sound is kind of comforting, hearing that cute, crackling sound. I can get it with music if I want, but I'm choosing the--what do they call it? The Minimalist perspective, perhaps. You would be mistaken to think that I am going to go into a discussion of that estrangement. It was not my choice and I have given it to God. It is just another way the forces of evil are at work in our world today. One thing that I'm discovering (something I have always known, but perhaps have not realized as starkly) is that the forces of evil have been operating since the dawn of creation, that is, since sin entered the world, but it's amazing how when you are once enlightened, God gives you gradual glimpses over time of just how insidious it is. Somewhere in my subconscious lives a universe where life is simpler than it is today, and a fireplace is part of that universe. This fantasy began with the notion that a fireplace would save me a lot on my heating bill. But I have heard from people who have actually had fireplaces that that is not usually a realistic expectation. I imagine that if you sat next to it, it might help some, but I am now relatively certain that central heating and even space heaters are probably more effective. When the cold weather rolls around, I always think about my ancestors, the people who first came and settled in Kansas. My grandpa had some land near here through which the early settlers (the "pioneers") traveled in their covered wagons, leaving their permanent wheel marks on the cold, hard ground. I saw them. And he had horses, so he was that much closer to the history of Kansas than I am, but still, by this I know that my ancestors came here in covered wagons and they probably had to warm themselves around campfires from time to time. Me, I couldn't start a fire if my life depended on it. I just comfort myself with the thought that my ancestors were "hardy" people, and that they had to put up with extreme temperatures just to get to this place, and they had actually pulled up stakes and brought everything they had to settle here and live and raise families. And now we have no more log cabins, no more sod houses, we have apartment complexes and central heating and air conditioning and all the modern conveniences. But not everyone, I understand. There are homeless people here, and a mission downtown for those who seek refuge from the elements but who also are interested in God. That seems to be a sticking point for many; that's what I hear, anyway. I know that I was actually homeless once. I don't like to think of myself as having been homeless, but technically, I was. I was living with a roommate in a rental property, if my memory serves me well. I went to California to sing in a Ramada Inn and the gig only lasted two weeks, so I was out on my ear. I don't even remember how I ended up at the Lord's House in Costa Mesa. I don't even remember how it happened, but somehow I got hold of some people at Calvary Chapel (some of them had worked in the lounge where I was singing). All I can say is, "It was the Lord." He provided that place for me. I was there four months before God brought me home to Topeka. I suppose I could have gotten back into the place I was staying before I went to California, but my life had changed. I think I went to my mother's for a while, then got a job and rented an apartment in an old house near downtown Topeka. The house has long since been razed. While in California, at the Lord's House, I was rebuked for wearing a T-shirt with a "Miller Lite" logo on it. It wasn't a problem, but I always remember that, because I would not have been welcome at the Lord's House if I had rebelled against that restriction. The Lord's House was there for people who wanted Jesus, not just a place to sponge off the kindly church people. And I got quite a dose of the Holy Ghost, so I can honestly say that I wanted Jesus (and still want Jesus). Just going to make some hazelnut coffee in my single-serve coffee maker with some "rich hazelnut" hot chocolate mix leftover from last Christmas. I'm sure it will be fine. It came with these really cool mugs I bought for myself last year. The cup was for about 12 ounces of coffee, and the silly hot chocolate powder was for 6 ounces of liquid, so go figure. Good thing I have lots of French Vanilla creamer. I also have some almond syrup, but I think I'll save that. I'm reminded again that, "The Kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost." For years I have been obsessed a lot about two things: saving money and wondering what will happen to all my stuff when I die. And, actually, I should be obsessing significantly more on righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. Maybe some of these other things would not loom so eerily over my head. So, in conclusion, we are entering into the season leading up to the day believers throughout the world celebrate the birth of Jesus. The world doesn't pay it so much mind, but they can't escape the fact that millions of people believe the Christmas Story and it has changed their lives. I heard a challenge recently to read one chapter a day from the book of Luke to prepare for Christmas Day, and I am so totally behind. I just started reading in the first chapter, and it is so beautiful. I love Luke, the physician, who wrote the book of Luke and also the book of Acts. I love his dedication to Theophilus, and the proceeding passages and chapters, and I want to go catch up now, because I am five days behind. Seems like I am always behind in something. Last month I forgot to pay my electric bill so I had to pay two months this month. But I love remembering how Jesus came into my life, and how the Scripture was so refreshing and so alive and so attractive, and how I couldn't get enough of reading it. I want to return to that, because this Savior of ours has not changed toward us, and yet we seem to change toward him, and I don't want that to happen. So, brothers and sisters, seekers and friends, I am going to go do that now. Love, Carolyn