Musical Musings on the Eve of my Birthday

November 24, 2024, the eve of my birthday, I got a text from my brother, the first birthday blessing. The next blessing was a package from a friend. Inside was a bag that said, "I rescue books trapped in the bookstore. I'm not a hoarder, I'm a hero." Inside was a box of Ferrero Rocher hazelnut chocolates. Inside was a card from the couple who gave them to me and another card with some signatures of people in my small church fellowship. After church another friend took me out to eat at Hog Wild, our what they call "fast food barbecue restaurant" across from El Mezcal at 21st and Fairlawn. They have a lot of good things to eat. I used to always get the pulled pork sandwich special (one side and a drink). I have changed to one rib, and a side salad and a drink. That's enough for me. I like their salad. It just has lettuce, tomato, shredded red cabbage, bacon bits and grated cheese, and I always get it with honey mustard and ranch dressing. It's a super good deal, and very satisfying. So that was my third birthday blessing. After I got home, my best friend from the third grade texted me. We remember each other's birthdays. I met her at the drinking fountain in the third grade. I love to tell people this. I even tell the third grade students I tutor. I don't know if they need to know, but maybe it will give them a sense that friends they make now can still be friends when many years have passed. I had my first real boyfriend in the fourth grade, that being also the year my parents split up (I think). Sometimes we may mix things up a little bit thinking back on them, but that's how I remember it. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time, like three or four years. Too bad my adult relationships didn't end up having as much stability as that one did. I wrote about it in my book, so I'm not going to go into it right now, but that relationship was literally a God-send. It got me through some rough times, I think. When we talked later on, he remembered how much I was hurting then, like nobody else remembered, I suppose. There is nothing like parents splitting up to break a child's heart, but you can't tell anybody that. They don't want to hear it. It's true, they don't. I don't particularly want to go off on that trail either, talking about how much divorce hurts children. Again, I wrote a whole book about it. I heard a song today that I had never heard before. I got it in a book I got at God's Storehouse Thrift Store (the best one in town). It's called "O The Deep, Deep Love of Jesus" by Samuel T. Francis, and Thomas J. Williams. It was first published as a poem in 1898. Wow. You can look it up for all the information about the song. It is quite interesting, but what I love about it is, well, everything. "O the deep, deep, love of Jesus/Vast unmeasured, boundless, free. Rolling as a mighty ocean/In its fullness over me." I am going to work on it to sing to my ladies at the retirement center. I love to discover songs I've never heard, especially old ones, because they are usually so much more wonderful than the modern ones. This song has a beautiful, haunting melody and it's in 6/8 time, which is something you don't hear every day. I heard the version by Selah, which to me is the best Christian music group alive today, at least I assume they are still together, but I can't say for sure. "Underneath me, all around me/Is the current of Thy love/Leading onward, leading homeward/To Thy glorious rest above." Oh, my goodness. You need to go listen to that song right now. Well, my brain is on silent, I guess. It's been a rather full day. I was thinking today on the way to church about the power of music.The Bible teaches that Satan was a worship leader before he fell and rebelled against God and took one third of the angels with him. Everyone can agree that music has great power but not everyone thinks about what kind of power it is. In my book I wrote about "loves that don't love back," and music is one of them. Music can rock us to sleep or make us dance, or make us laugh or make us cry. Music can arouse pleasant or unpleasant memories, it can stir us to fight or flight. But music, though a wonderful gift of God, is not God. It can be an idol. It can deceive us. It can tell us that we are such fine people that no one (not even God) could ever find fault with us. It can tell us that that broken relationship was the other person's fault. Music can act in the same way alcohol or drugs can act. Everybody knows that is true. It's just another of those things people don't want to hear. While I am writing or trying to write, I'm supposed to be allowing things to come up out of my soul that I can write about. Presumably, there is a progression with this. I haven't read Lamott today. Today was the Lord's Day and I had music for church to work on last night and music for my retired ladies to work on today, so I haven't had any time to read today. This morning we heard about how the Bible can point things out to us that we need to change. Of course, none of us really wants to hear too much about that. We would all much rather point out all the terrible things other people are like or other people are doing. I'm hearing that melody in my head right now, and probably will when I lay my head down on that pillow. I don't really know it yet, so, of course, it will probably be wrong, but that's okay, there is no rush. I am happy to have discovered a new song to learn. It is very beautiful. I think about the short time that I got to make a living playing music. I always wanted to be able to do that after I became a Christian, but apparently that was not what God had in mind for me. And it becomes more okay all the time. I suppose it would be very easy for me to think music was God if I was able to do what I wanted to do instead of what God wanted to do with me. I believe music is not my life now. I used to think music was my life. In other words, music was my God. And that is idolatry. I did not know that, of course, because I did not know God. Knowing God makes all the difference. To know God is to know peace (that "passes understanding"). People are worried about a lot of things right now. The anti-Trump folks are worried about all the things they've heard on TV. They're afraid the sky is falling, I guess, kind of like the story of Henny Penny or Chicken Licken. That's what I'm thinking now. I thought the sky was falling when Biden was president, now the other people think the sky is falling. So there you go. The sky isn't falling. I certainly pray that we are not going to enter into World War III now because everybody all over the world is deciding (following our president's example) that we should provide our weapons to give Ukraine to shoot into Russia. I can't think of a more disastrous decision, but that is what is happening. When I was a child in school, the big thing was we had to prepare for an atom bomb to go off on our school. Now every other kind of threat assails us, such as school shootings, and now terrorists from every country on the planet who don't like us. I am not going to worry because God gives me peace. There is a price to pay; it's called repentance. If you want peace with God, that is. I guess repentance is the thing people fight against more than anything. I do know that whatever God says about anything is something I can take to heart. I can be at peace because of the Prince of Peace. I am thankful for everything God has provided, especially salvation in Jesus Christ, his Son, and if I have that I really don't have to worry. And if I don't have peace with God through Jesus Christ, then I do have something to worry about, namely losing my soul for all eternity. I love this old song, "The Banks of the Ohio" where the guy says his lover "cried, 'Oh, Willie, don't murder me; I'm not prepared for eternity.'" I didn't know what that meant before I knew Jesus, but now I am glad I am prepared for eternity. And with that the assumption is that I can be prepared for anything. Goodnight.