Divorce leaves no survivors
Perhaps the title of this post is a little extreme, but I've been thinking about this a lot, and, though it may not be very "positive," I think it's realistic. People can say what they like about how to heal after a divorce, how to "move on," how to, as one writer has put it, "dance on the graves of your past." This all sounds real good, but you, like me, may not have found this as simple as it sounds.
Through the years I have learned why God said he "hates" divorce (Malachi 2:16), and I have come to the conclusion that the only thing good about being a "survivor" of parental divorce is knowing that there is a God who heals the broken-hearted. But I wouldn't be in a big hurry to get through this one. It may take you the rest of your life. However, the good news is that you may be able to come alongside of someone else who is going through this healing process and help them. This is what I hope to do.
I have decided after living through my parents' divorce, and having experienced two of my own, that divorce is a devastating tool of the enemy to strike at the heart of every person's very core, even at the heart of hope itself. I've heard it said that "without hope, all is lost," and that is exactly what the enemy of our soul would like to do when divorce happens.
Today I find I am still grieving a divorce that happened over 50 years ago. I read somewhere online today that if the pain is not grieved, it just keeps recycling until it is dealt with. So I must not have been dealing with the pain of my parents' divorce all these years, even when I imagined that I was.
I think it is so revealing that my father (http://www.glenndcogswell.blogspot.com/) was working on establishing a family court in Kansas right before he exited public life after losing the election for lieutenant-governor. His idea was twofold: (1) to take the children of divorce into the jurisdiction of the courts in order to protect them, and (2) to have a counseling component that might save any salvagable marriages. Instead, he lost his own. After this happened, his life and the lives of his children, have been and never will be the same.
Tomorrow night at Celebrate Recovery "Nail it to the Cross" service, I will nail my parent's divorce on the cross. I will give it to the Lord and I will begin to heal the real, root cause of my anger and allow myself to grieve the loss of my intact family (Mommy, Daddy, David and Carolyn, 1946-1957).
I'm going to read Jen Abbas' Generation EX not just to see how she put the book together but to see how she can help me heal from my parents' divorce. Then maybe I can finish my book ( see http://www.losingdaddy-as-the-cogs-turn.blogspot.com/) more tools than I presently have. I will be back in touch with you all. Meanwhile, I will give this to Jesus, and I urge you to do this also.
If the tears come, let them come. Let our Father heal our hearts and may the hope of the resurrected Jesus be yours today and every day.
Through the years I have learned why God said he "hates" divorce (Malachi 2:16), and I have come to the conclusion that the only thing good about being a "survivor" of parental divorce is knowing that there is a God who heals the broken-hearted. But I wouldn't be in a big hurry to get through this one. It may take you the rest of your life. However, the good news is that you may be able to come alongside of someone else who is going through this healing process and help them. This is what I hope to do.
I have decided after living through my parents' divorce, and having experienced two of my own, that divorce is a devastating tool of the enemy to strike at the heart of every person's very core, even at the heart of hope itself. I've heard it said that "without hope, all is lost," and that is exactly what the enemy of our soul would like to do when divorce happens.
Today I find I am still grieving a divorce that happened over 50 years ago. I read somewhere online today that if the pain is not grieved, it just keeps recycling until it is dealt with. So I must not have been dealing with the pain of my parents' divorce all these years, even when I imagined that I was.
I think it is so revealing that my father (http://www.glenndcogswell.blogspot.com/) was working on establishing a family court in Kansas right before he exited public life after losing the election for lieutenant-governor. His idea was twofold: (1) to take the children of divorce into the jurisdiction of the courts in order to protect them, and (2) to have a counseling component that might save any salvagable marriages. Instead, he lost his own. After this happened, his life and the lives of his children, have been and never will be the same.
Tomorrow night at Celebrate Recovery "Nail it to the Cross" service, I will nail my parent's divorce on the cross. I will give it to the Lord and I will begin to heal the real, root cause of my anger and allow myself to grieve the loss of my intact family (Mommy, Daddy, David and Carolyn, 1946-1957).
I'm going to read Jen Abbas' Generation EX not just to see how she put the book together but to see how she can help me heal from my parents' divorce. Then maybe I can finish my book ( see http://www.losingdaddy-as-the-cogs-turn.blogspot.com/) more tools than I presently have. I will be back in touch with you all. Meanwhile, I will give this to Jesus, and I urge you to do this also.
If the tears come, let them come. Let our Father heal our hearts and may the hope of the resurrected Jesus be yours today and every day.
Comments
Post a Comment